No Shame in Pleasure

Maggie Wilhelm, Empowerment and Confidence Coach, Founder of the Serenity Program, New Mom and Social Justice Advocate

As we celebrate sexual health awareness month, let’s explore our own sexuality by tapping into the beliefs that are not serving us, and honor the fact that we are all sexual beings, deserving of pleasure!

Sexual health is an essential piece of our whole health and wellbeing. PLEASURE is a valuable part of being human, one that should not be shamed. For most of us, our sexuality and beliefs about sex/gender identity/sexual orientation are tied to our upbringing, culture, religious ideation, social views on purity or being a “good girl/boy,” etc.

These beliefs can hold us hostage in our own sexual discovery, growth, and experiences. Many of the road blocks we experience with sex have to do with these shameful beliefs or the mental stress we carry. Ask yourself, “I am turned on when…” versus “I am turned off when…” to tap into some of your personal barriers. Exploring these unhelpful beliefs is a valuable tool to discovering who YOU are sexually, outside of what you were taught to believe. Therapy is a great place to unlock unhealthy beliefs, process them, and tap into your identity. A good therapist or sex therapist will help you with both mental and physical blocks to your sex life, as well as coping with any past experiences of sexual trauma.

Once you have healed some of these mental wounds, you can better explore your sexuality and your desire. Part of connecting to your sexual health is doing what feels good to you! Check in and connect with yourself and ask: “What am I craving? (Intimacy, connection, love, pleasure, excitement, etc.) What does my body want?”

Here are some significant reasons to connect your physical, sexual, and mental health through sexual pleasure and orgasm:
- it feels good!
- it reduces stress
- it’s available to you without a partner
- it’s free
- it helps you sleep better
- it can relieve menstrual cramps & headaches
- it releases tension
- it’s fun
- if done with a partner, it increases intimacy & connection

Are there beliefs or experiences holding you back from being your authentic self or experiencing the pleasure you are deserving of? If so, I encourage you to explore and process these with a qualified sex therapist who can help you heal old wounds and connect with your body, desires, & pleasure. You’re worth it!

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Photo by Cottonbro